“By your words I can see where I am going, they throw a beam of light on my dark path” Psalm 119:105
How quickly my ship can sail off course. It’s never the dramatic shift…the proverbial iceberg in the middle of the Atlantic but rather a slow drift off course. A failure to guard my heart…taking comfort in worldly things…seeking the approval of others to fill up those empty places in my life.
I, like many men I know, lean toward self-absorbtion. We grab the reigns of our lives in a vain attempt to control our out-of-control circumstances. But Jesus calls us to loosen our white-knuckled grip and humble ourselves to the point of weakness because it is in that weakness that His strength is made real in our lives. It is completely counter-intuitive to what our culture tells us to do.
I went away this past weekend to hike, fish and camp in the Linville Gorge Wilderness Area. I had been looking forward to this as a time of refreshing…a respite from the harsh details of life that seemed to be slowing swallowing my joy. As the day approached, I had dreams of catching huge trout and time hearing from God…but, none of that happened. I realize that I had created an idol out of this trip. I exalted it in my mind as a path toward the peace and answers that I had been pressing God for.
Reflecting, I recognize that I had fallen captive to the dreaded “if-only” myth. If only I could get away to the mountains, I could gather my thoughts and get some direction for life. If only I had a few more real estate deals in the works, I would feel more at ease financially. If only I could get this damn work done around my house, I could sell it, downsize and move onto the “next thing” God wants me to do.
There are a multitude of these myths that take us captive and lead us away from intimacy with Jesus. If only I could change my circumstances…if only I could change my behavior…if only I could change my thinking….
So, as I lean back into my booth at my favorite coffee shop, reflecting on the status of my heart and what Jesus might be speaking, I recognize (again) that it is only in my connectedness to Him that I have anything. In my own strength, I will wander off course again. In my own strength, I will surely be lead by my flesh toward some dark expression.
But, today’s manna from heaven has been found is his WORD, which is a “lamp unto my feet and a light for my dark path”.
Shalom…
Filed under: Biblical Manhood, Christianity, Coping, Freedom in Christ, Heart, Jesus
I came across the following quote recently and it came to mind as I was reading your post:
What is it then to be stable? It seems to me that it may be described in the following terms: You will find stability at the moment you discover that God is everywhere, that you do not need to seek Him elsewhere, that He is here, and if you do not find Him here it is useless to go and search for Him elsewhere because it is not Him that is absent from us, it is we who are absent from Him. … It is important to recognize that it is useless to seek God somewhere else. If you cannot find Him here you will not find Him anywhere else. This is important because it is only at the moment that you recognize this that you can truly find the fullness of the Kingdom of God in all its richness within you; that God is present in every situation and every place, that you will be able to say: ‘So then I will stay where I am.’
+ Metropolitan Anthony Bloom