A Thousand Paper Cuts

Relationships are difficult. 

A man I know described his relationship with his wife as one damaged by “a thousand paper cuts.”  Now this doesnt sound that bad, does it?  There was no deep wound that we could pay attention to, no one thing that brought down their marriage except the long-term festering of a thousand paper cuts that had never been brought into the light to heal.  You know the kind I’m talking about – the off-handed comment, the subtle put-down, the disapproving glance.

We are imperfect beings impersonating lives of perfection.

We put on brave fronts, poker faces of success, creating a mask that we wear when other people are around.  Our lives are a hodge-podge of scrapes and scars, some self-inflicted and others at the hands and mouths of those dearest to us.

Years of these “arrows” as John Eldredge describes them, serve as a lens through which we view the world and influence every interaction we have with others.  They are like a well used camera, ravaged through years of use and abuse, who’s lens has become scratched and cracked, causing us to lose focus and see things in a distorted way…not as they were intended to be seen.

Our friendships, marriages and lives in general are all flawed and hopelessly corrupt without the presence of Jesus.  And yet…we are left with the residual nature of the “old man”, the flesh with which we contend on a daily basis.  Left to its own devices, it will seek to isolate us from one another, drive us toward self-gratification at every turn, and generally lead us down a path of destruction if not for the saving grace of His Spirit which resides within each believer.

So…what do we do?

James 5:16 (NIV) says that we should “confess our sins to each other and pray for each other so that we may be healed“…the Message version captures the last part even better by stating, “…so that you can live together whole and healed.”

There is a spiritual currency exchanged when we confess our sins to one another…husband to wife, brother to brother, father to son.  The act of confession lays down the pride of SELF. 

James also tells us to “pray for one another”.  As believers, when we listen to a brother or sister’s confession, we accept their ”damaged currency” and, in pronouncing forgiveness and offering prayer, complete a spiritual transaction, one that is described in James 5:16.

David also communicates this message in Psalm 32.  He laments the difficulty of carrying the burden of silent sin, describing that “his bones were wasting away…and day and night, [the Lords] hand was heavy upon him…his strength was sapped.”  But then, in verse 5, he says that he did not attempt to cover up his depravity but acknowledged it before God and that, in confessing his sins, the Lord “forgave the guilt” of his sin.

How many of us struggle with guilt over our sin?  Interestingly, the Hebrew word “forgave” is nasa’ which, more closely translated, means “carried away” or “removed”.  The confession of sin to the Lord removes the guilt of sin and actually carries it away from the believer.

So often, I think my sin, while forgiven, somehow lingers with me like some stain on my shirt that just wont wash out so I am constantly reminded of it.  But Jesus completes the spiritual transaction of confession-forgiveness by removing the guilt of sin and carrying it away. 

So, resolve today not to pick up the chain laid down in confession.  Take your thoughts captive as your advesary attempts to bring up the guilt of your sin by meditating on Psalm 32, being reminded that Jesus has erased all evidence of that sin and carried it away for good.

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